If you’re a woman juggling a career, family life, and ADHD, you probably know what I mean when I say it’s way too much. On any given day, you might feel like you’re spinning many plates – work deadlines, homework, cooking, and somehow remembering to feed the dog (don’t even ask about that time I forgot my own lunch on a workday). For those of us with ADHD, this mental juggling act can get overwhelming fast.
As an ADHD coach a mother of neurodivergent girls and a woman with ADHD myself, I’ve had to figure out how to manage both a busy family and career while keeping my ADHD brain in check. This is not about perfection (far from it!), but finding systems and habits that work for you and for everyone else. This blog post is here to give you practical advice on how to strike that balance without losing your sanity.
Prioritising What Matters: Focusing on the Big Rocks
If you’re like me, your brain is always buzzing with a never-ending list of tasks. One minute I’m answering work emails, the next I’m remembering I forgot to RSVP to my child’s school event, then it hits me – I still haven’t bought food for dinner! It’s exhausting. The key to taming the chaos? Prioritizing the big rocks – the most important things in your life.
I had to learn this the hard way. I used to say yes to everything: volunteering at school, working late, squeezing in tasks between meetings. But it turns out, you can’t do everything, and trying to do so leads to burnout. Instead, take time to identify what truly matters. Is it your family? Your health? Your career? Focus on those, and let the less important tasks fall to the background. Not everything needs to be done today, and sometimes “good enough” really is good enough.
For example, I decided that spending time with my girls in the evening and managing my ADHD coaching business are my big rocks. That means I’m okay with the laundry piling up a little or having the same dinner two nights in a row (no shame in quick fish fingers twice a week!). Figuring out your top priorities will lighten the mental load significantly.
Time Management Strategies for the ADHD Brain
Ah, time management – sounds so simple, doesn’t it? But for women with ADHD, it’s like trying to organise a cupboard where the hangers are constantly breaking. Traditional time management advice, like making long to-do lists or planning your entire day, doesn’t always work for our ADHD brains.
What works for me is time-blocking. I schedule chunks of time to focus on one task -whether it’s work, spending time with family, or just cleaning up the bathroom. These time blocks give me permission to focus on one thing at a time without getting sidetracked. (I’m notorious for getting halfway through cleaning up and suddenly deciding to reorganise the entire storage.)
I also use visual reminders – sticky notes, color-coded calendars, and timers. I have a bright green timer that sits on my desk, which I set for 30-minute work sprints. It keeps me on task, and when the timer dings, I know it’s time for a break. ADHD brains thrive on structure, so finding time management tools that fit your style can help keep you on track.
Reducing Overwhelm: Saying No and Setting Boundaries
Now let’s talk about something that doesn’t come naturally to many women with ADHD -saying “no.” We often feel like we should be able to handle it all, but that’s just not realistic. And with ADHD, taking on too much quickly leads to overwhelm. It took me years to figure out that saying “no” is not a weakness, it’s a survival skill.
For instance, I used to volunteer for everything -school meetings, bake sales, work projects. But with ADHD, overcommitting was my fast track to forgetting important things and feeling exhausted. I had to learn the art of setting boundaries. Now, I assess whether a new task aligns with my priorities (remember those big rocks). If it doesn’t, I politely decline. Saying “no” feels like self-care – because it is.
A real-life example: Last month, a friend asked me to help organise a charity event. Normally, I’d say yes in a heartbeat, but I knew my plate was already full with work projects and my family commitments. I explained I couldn’t help this time, and guess what? The world didn’t fall apart! Boundaries protect your energy and focus – something that’s vital when managing ADHD.
Creating ADHD-Friendly Routines for Family Life
As a mom with ADHD, I’ve learned the value of manageable routines. They’re like guardrails that keep my day from spiralling into unmanageable chaos. But here’s the thing about routines—they have to be ADHD-friendly. That means flexibility is key. Routines help us anticipate what’s coming, but they shouldn’t feel like rigid checklists we’re doomed to fail.
For example, our mornings used to be a mess. We’d scramble to get out the door – someone would inevitably forget a homework folder, and I’d realise I hadn’t had coffee yet (headache!). So, we created a loose but effective morning routine: I set out everyone’s clothes the night before (including my own), and we keep a “grab-and-go” breakfast drawer with easy options like granola bars and fruit. Is it Pinterest-perfect? Nope. Does it work? Absolutely.
In the evening, I had a family routine that helps us all wind down – dinner together, followed by a short cleanup, and then some downtime. We’re not always perfect at it, but it reduces stress and makes ADHD-induced chaos a little more manageable.
Workplace Productivity Hacks for Women with ADHD
Balancing work with ADHD can be tricky, especially when distractions lurk around every corner. I’ve learned to embrace ADHD-specific productivity hacks that help me stay on top of tasks while being kind to my brain’s quirks. One of my favourite hacks is creating an “accountability system.”
At work, I have a colleague I check in with weekly to discuss our progress on big projects. Knowing that I have to report my progress keeps me motivated (and no, I don’t want to admit I haven’t done something!). Another trick? Using noise-cancelling headphones when I really need to focus – like when I’m writing blog posts or working on client reports. Blocking out background noise helps me zero in on the task at hand.
And let’s not forget digital tools. I’m a huge fan of using project management apps like Trello or Asana to organize my tasks visually. ADHD brains love seeing everything laid out in an easy-to-understand format. The more visual, the better!
Conclusion: Finding Harmony in the Chaos
Here’s the big takeaway: balancing work and family life with ADHD is possible, but it requires a mix of self-compassion, realistic expectations, and the right tools. It’s not about being perfect (and let’s be honest, perfection is overrated), but about finding a rhythm that works for you.
ADHD doesn’t define you, it’s just one part of who you are. And with the right strategies, you can thrive both at work and at home. Some days will be messy (literally and figuratively), but that’s okay. The key is learning to embrace the chaos, set boundaries where you need them, and prioritise what truly matters.
So, whether you’re tackling a work deadline, figuring out how to manage family meals, or simply trying to make it through the day without losing your something (again), know that you’ve got this. Finding harmony is a process, not a destination. And if you ever feel overwhelmed, just remember, you’re doing a great job, one ADHD-friendly step at a time!