Hello, fellow ADHD warriors! If you’re anything like me, the idea of “self-care” sounds wonderful in theory but feels more like an item that gets lost at the bottom of my to-do list (you know, the one I started three weeks ago and promptly misplaced). But here’s the thing – when you’ve got ADHD, especially as a woman, self-care is not just a luxury; it’s a necessity for our mental health. So, let’s talk about why self-care is so important for us, why ADHD and mental health challenges often go hand-in-hand for women, and how we can build a routine that doesn’t make us want to run for the hills.
The Link Between ADHD and Mental Health Challenges in Women
Okay, so let’s get real for a moment. ADHD is not just about losing your things or forgetting why you walked into the room (though, yes, those happen – daily). ADHD affects our brain’s ability to regulate attention, impulses, and emotions. When left unchecked, this can lead to some heavy-duty mental health challenges like anxiety, depression, and stress.
Now, for women, the stakes are even higher. Research indicates that women with ADHD are more likely than men to receive a diagnosis of anxiety or depression. While the exact reasons for this aren’t entirely clear, it may be influenced by societal expectations and pressures. We’re often juggling multiple roles – career, partner, parenting, and sometimes all of the above simultaneously. It’s like being on a hamster wheel that just won’t stop. Add ADHD into the mix, and suddenly, you’re not just trying to keep up – you’re desperately trying to keep it together.
Why Mental Health Is Often a Challenge for Women with ADHD
Let’s dig deeper into why we tend to face more mental health hurdles than our male counterparts. First up, hormones. Yes, ladies, as if monthly mood swings weren’t enough, hormonal fluctuations can magnify ADHD symptoms. Oestrogen levels drop during the luteal phase (the second half of the menstrual cycle), which can make inattention, impulsivity, and emotional sensitivity even worse . It’s like someone cranked up the volume on ADHD.
But, there’s more! Many women are misdiagnosed or diagnosed later in life because ADHD in women often looks different. We’re more likely to internalise our symptoms, presenting as “spacey” or daydreamy rather than hyperactive.
And then there’s the infamous “masking.” For years, I tried to hide my symptoms to fit into societal expectations. I wanted to appear “together” and organised like those women you see on Instagram who plan their days with cute pastel sticky notes and never seem to have a single hair out of place. (I don’t know about you, but I can barely keep track of my sticky notes, and my hair? It’s lucky if it gets brushed.) This constant masking is exhausting and can lead to burnout, anxiety, and even depression.
Building a Self-Care Routine Specifically for Women with ADHD
Alright, now that we know why we might struggle more with mental health, let’s talk about building a self-care routine that actually works for us ADHD people. Spoiler alert: it’s all about creating something flexible, realistic, and, most importantly, ADHD-friendly. Because if it’s too rigid or complicated, we’re probably not going to stick with it. (I’ve been there, many times.)
1. Understanding Your Triggers and Patterns
First things first: get to know yourself. And I mean really get to know yourself. Pay attention to what triggers your stress or anxiety and what activities help you feel more at ease. For many of us, stress peaks during certain times of the month (thanks, hormones!) or when our routines change or when we are exposed to certain type of stress. By tracking your symptoms, especially in relation to your menstrual cycle, you might notice patterns.
Quick Tip: Use a simple app or even a voice memo on your phone to track how you’re feeling daily. “Today, I felt like crawling under a blanket and avoiding all responsibilities” counts as data! This will help you create a routine that fits your natural rhythm.
2. Prioritising Self-Care Activities
Let’s be honest: when it comes to self-care, not every activity is going to work for everyone. For some, yoga is a dream; for others, it’s a reminder that stretching and touching toes regularly is an unreachable goal. Find what works for you – whether it’s a 10-minute dance break, journaling (no pressure to be profound!), or simply sitting outside and enjoying nature.
The key is to choose activities that feel manageable and enjoyable. If it feels like another “task,” it’s not going to stick. Self-care shouldn’t be another item on your ever-growing list of things to do; it should be something that makes you feel good in the moment.
3. Creating a Flexible but Consistent Routine
Flexibility is the name of the game. We need structure, but we also need the freedom to adapt when our brains decide they want to do something else entirely. (Raise your hand if you’ve ever abandoned a plan because it suddenly seemed boring – yep, me too.)
Start by setting small, realistic goals. Maybe it’s a short walk every morning or five minutes of meditation before bed. Use reminders on your phone or visual planners (sticky notes count!) to help stay on track. And don’t be afraid to adjust – some days, a “routine” might be as simple as remembering to drink water and take a few deep breaths.
Body Doubling: Have you heard of this? It’s where you do tasks alongside someone else, either in person or virtually. It can be a great way to stick to self-care activities like exercise or mindfulness. Find a buddy, or even join an online ADHD community where you can set up “body-doubling” sessions. It’s surprisingly motivating!
Read more: Focus Hacks for Adults with ADHD: Tools and Strategies That Work
4. Incorporating Stress Reduction Techniques
Stress is a major trigger for many of us, and let’s be honest – our lives are often a bit of a whirlwind. But that doesn’t mean we can’t find ways to calm the chaos. Incorporating stress reduction techniques that are quick and ADHD-friendly is incredibly important.
- Deep Breathing Exercises: This doesn’t have to be fancy. Even just a few deep breaths can help reset your nervous system. Try inhaling for four counts, holding for four, and exhaling for six. It’s quick, easy, and doesn’t require any equipment.
- Grounding Techniques: When you’re feeling overwhelmed, grounding techniques can help you stay present. Try the “5-4-3-2-1” method – identify five things you can see, four things you can touch, three things you can hear, two things you can smell, and one thing you can taste. It’s a simple way to bring your mind back to the here and now.
- Nature Walks: Getting outside, even for a short walk, can make a big difference. Nature has a calming effect, and the movement helps burn off some of that excess energy. Plus, it’s a great way to hit the reset button when you’re feeling mentally stuck.
Final Tips for Maintaining Self-Care Routines with ADHD
Self-care is not about perfection; it’s about progress. Start small and celebrate the tiny wins. Maybe you didn’t stick to your yoga routine, but you took five minutes to stretch instead—win! Or perhaps you didn’t journal, but you spent a few minutes reflecting while you brushed your teeth. It all counts.
Remember, there’s no “one-size-fits-all” when it comes to self-care, especially for women with ADHD. It’s all about finding what works for you and being open to tweaking and adapting as needed. And don’t forget – self-compassion is crucial. It’s okay to have days when you don’t stick to the plan. You’re human, and you’re doing your best.
Conclusion
ADHD and mental health challenges often go hand-in-hand for women, but with the right self-care routine, you can manage and create space for peace and well-being. Start small, stay flexible, and most importantly – be kind to yourself. After all, you deserve it.