Impulsivity and ADHD – it’s like peanut butter and jam, only the peanut butter’s spilling all over your lap while you try to hold the sandwich together. If you’re an adult with ADHD, you might know this scenario all too well. You’re in the supermarket for groceries, but suddenly, you’re walking out with five scented candles and a new set of fancy pens. You’re thinking, This is self-care, right? But let’s explore what’s really happening in that ADHD brain, why impulsivity is such a big part of it, and how you can manage it.
ADHD in Adults: Why It’s Underdiagnosed
First things first, ADHD in adults is often underdiagnosed. For many of us, the narrative goes like this: you grow up, life gets busy, and you just assume that feeling scattered, making impulsive decisions, and having zero patience is all part of your character or just being an adult. Except, for those of us with ADHD, it’s not just “adulting.” It’s our brains operating on a different frequency.
A lot of adults may not realise they have ADHD until later in life – usually after being labelled as “too emotional,” “reckless,”, “forgetful” or “just not focused enough.” (Anyone else have a mental tally of how many times they’ve heard just pay attention?) Society often misreads these traits as personality quirks or flaws rather than ADHD symptoms, leading many of us to struggle without the support we need.
The Science Behind Impulsivity in the Adult ADHD Brain
Okay, let’s get into the science (I promise it’s not boring). The adult ADHD brain has a few things going on that make impulsivity a major issue. The prefrontal cortex – basically the brain’s executive suite where decision-making and self-control live, has a hard time keeping things in check. This part of the brain is like the friend who says, Let’s think about this for a minute. But with ADHD, that friend is often taking a long break.
ADHD brains also struggle with dopamine regulation. Dopamine is a neurotransmitter that helps us feel pleasure and reward. In ADHD, there’s often not enough of it, which can make mundane tasks feel like trying to run a marathon in the mud. The result? Our brains chase after things that give a quick dopamine hit – impulsive purchases, jumping into conversations without thinking, or hitting the gas pedal when it’s definitely a yellow light.
ADHD Impulsivity in Adults: Common Signs and Examples
If you’re reading this and thinking, Well, everyone makes impulsive decisions sometimes, you’re right. But impulsivity in ADHD goes beyond the occasional splurge or misstep. Here’s what impulsivity might look like when it’s running the show:
- Making Decisions Without Thinking: Ever found yourself saying Yes! to a new project at work before you even knew what it involved? Or maybe you agreed to plans with friends without checking your calendar – only to realise later you double-booked yourself (again). Impulsivity often means saying yes before fully thinking things through.
- Confrontational Reactions: Sometimes, impulsivity shows up when emotions are high. A small disagreement can turn into a full-blown argument because that impulse control switch.
- Engaging in Risky Behaviour: This might mean anything from spending excessively on things you don’t need (hello, online shopping binges) to spontaneous road trips when you should be working.
- Easily Sidetracked or Distracted: You sit down to do one thing, but twenty minutes later, you’re down a rabbit hole learning about the mating habits of penguins instead. Impulsivity can look like a constant struggle to stay on task.
- Interrupting Others Constantly: If you’re an adult with ADHD, you know the struggle of biting your tongue during meetings and conversations. The impulse to jump in with thoughts and ideas is real, and while it comes from a place of enthusiasm, it can sometimes come off as rude or overwhelming.
- Impulsive Spending: most of us have been there – one moment you’re browsing for a new pen, and next thing you know, you’ve bought three planners, five pens, and a fancy desk lamp. It’s easy to spend money impulsively when your brain is seeking that quick hit of dopamine.
- Frustration When You Have to Wait: If waiting in line feels like torture, you’re not alone. For those of us with ADHD, patience isn’t just a virtue; it’s a superpower we’re still trying to unlock.
How to Manage ADHD Impulsivity in Adults: Practical Tips
So, what can we do to manage this impulse-driven chaos? Here are some ADHD self-care strategies that can help, without feeling like you’re trying to tame a wild animal (aka, your brain).
- Learn to Delay Gratification: Practicing the art of waiting can be a game-changer but a hard game to win. Try the “10-second rule”: when you’re about to make a decision, take 10 seconds to pause and ask yourself, Do I really need this right now? It might feel like an eternity at first, but it works long term.
- Use a Timer: Timers can be your best friend. Set one for activities that usually lead to impulsive behaviour (like scrolling on your phone) to create boundaries and keep you aware of time passing.
- Develop Self-Awareness and Learn Your Triggers: If you notice you’re impulsive when stressed or bored, make a note of it. Keeping a journal can help you track patterns and understand what sets off impulsivity. Sometimes, it’s as simple as realising that late-night online shopping isn’t a good idea when you’re tired.
- Practice Mindfulness: Mindfulness isn’t about sitting cross-legged for hours; it’s about learning to stay present. Even taking a few deep breaths before reacting can help you create that much-needed pause.
- Find Ways to Relax and Take Breaks: Taking intentional breaks – whether it’s a walk in the park or five minutes of stretching – can help reset your brain. It’s a chance to refresh and avoid impulsive decisions fuelled by stress or restlessness.
- Exercise Regularly: Exercise is a powerful tool for managing impulsivity. It boosts dopamine levels and helps improve brain function, making it easier to stay focused and calm.
- Improve Sleep Habits: Impulsivity often worsens when you’re sleep-deprived, so developing a consistent sleep routine is key. Even if your ADHD brain resists bedtime like a toddler, try setting up a calming routine to wind down each night.
- Time Management Strategies: Using tools like planners, calendars, and apps can help keep your day structured. Breaking tasks into small, manageable steps can also reduce the overwhelm that often leads to impulsive decisions.
- Consider Online Therapy (#ad) as Part of Your ADHD Toolkit
Working with a therapist who understands ADHD can make a huge difference when it comes to managing impulsivity. Therapy offers a safe space to explore what’s driving those knee-jerk decisions — whether it’s stress, rejection sensitivity, boredom, or old habits. Online therapy platform now make it easier than ever to access support that fits into your life.
Conclusion: You’ve Got This
Managing impulsivity with ADHD isn’t about eliminating it entirely because, our impulsive side is part of what makes us fun and what we are. Instead, it’s about finding ways to work with your brain’s natural tendencies while minimising the moments that derail your progress. And if you do end up buying those five candles? Well, maybe it is self-care – just keep the receipt handy.
With practice, self-awareness, and a few tools in your ADHD toolkit, you can manage impulsivity in a way that feels both achievable and empowering.