Hello, dear reader! I’m a middle-aged woman who’s been living with ADHD all my life, though it took me quite some time to understand and embrace it. This blog is a glimpse into my world—full of excitement, challenges, and endless curiosity. If you or someone you love is navigating the complexities of ADHD, I hope my story offers you some comfort and inspiration.
From a young age, I was always excited about learning new things. The thrill of discovery was intoxicating. However, my enthusiasm was often short-lived. I would dive headfirst into new ideas, only to get bored quickly and abandon them. Perseverance was a foreign concept to me, and this pattern followed me through school and beyond.
School itself was a mixed bag. On one hand, I found the material easy and often daydreamed through classes. On the other hand, I could never muster the effort to learn things in depth. My teachers would praise my intelligence but wonder why I didn’t apply myself more. The truth was, I found it incredibly hard to sit still and focus on one thing for too long. This constant restlessness made me feel guilty, as if I were lazy or not trying hard enough.
Friendships were another challenge. I would get bored with people quickly, especially if I disagreed with them or found their conversations dull. Maintaining friendships required a tremendous amount of effort. On the outside, I appeared calm and disciplined, but inside, I was a whirlwind of thoughts and emotions, struggling to keep my attention anchored.
Work was no different. I could handle any task thrown at me, but I never felt I put in enough effort. My mind was always racing, jumping from one thought to another. Distractions came not from my environment, but from within my own head. I would start a task, then suddenly feel the need to do something else, and it had to be exactly at that moment.
Despite these challenges, what ultimately saved me was learning about my brain and leveraging my exceptional analytical skills. Over the years, I’ve tried countless strategies—some more effective than others—and developed my own methods to manage my ADHD. Listening to and learning from other people’s experiences has been incredibly insightful and has helped me create a toolkit of coping mechanisms that work for me. My journey of self-discovery began when I was trying to understand my daughter’s behaviors and struggles, which led me to read extensively about ADHD. Through this process, I came to the realisation that I, too, exhibited many of the same symptoms and patterns. The more I read, the more it became clear that I had been living with ADHD all along.
Additionally, working with autistic children and adults broadened my understanding of neurodiversity and helped me appreciate the various ways in which our brains can function differently. This experience was enlightening, as it not only deepened my empathy but also provided a new lens through which I viewed my own experiences. Realising that I had ADHD was a pivotal moment that allowed me to approach my personal challenges with greater clarity and understanding. Embracing this aspect of my identity has been transformative, empowering me to navigate my life with more intention and to harness my strengths effectively. This ongoing journey of learning and adaptation continues to shape my strategies and enrich my life, enabling me to thrive despite the obstacles.
Coping Strategies: Finding What Works
Embrace Structure and Routine
Let’s be real—sticking to a routine isn’t always easy, especially when distractions are lurking around every corner. But trust me, embracing structure has been a lifesaver for me. I rely heavily on planners and digital calendars, mapping out my days into bite-sized chunks. This way, I don’t get overwhelmed, and checking off tasks feels so satisfying! At first, it was tough, like trying to wrangle cats, but with a bit of persistence, it turned into effortless daily maintenance. Now, I can’t imagine life without my trusty schedule.
Set Realistic Goals
If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s the power of setting realistic goals. Gone are the days of grand, overwhelming ambitions that left me feeling like a failure. Instead, I break projects into smaller, manageable steps. For example, when tackling a big work project, I’ll focus on completing just one section at a time. This keeps me motivated and helps me see progress, which is incredibly rewarding.
Mindfulness and Meditation
Mindfulness and meditation have been absolute game-changers for me. They help me stay grounded and reduce the mental clutter that leads to distraction. Even a few minutes of deep breathing or a short meditation session can work wonders. At first, it was hit or miss with consistency, but once I started incorporating these sessions into my daily routine, they became second nature. Now, taking a moment to breathe deeply feels as natural as brushing my teeth.
Physical Activity
I can’t stress enough how crucial physical activity is, especially for those of us with ADHD. Exercise helps burn off excess energy and lifts my mood. Whether it’s a brisk walk around the block, a yoga session, or even an impromptu dance party in the living room, moving my body helps me stay focused and grounded. It’s like hitting the reset button on my brain!
Leverage Technology
Tech tools have become my best friends in managing ADHD. I use apps like Pomodoro timers to keep my focus sharp, task managers to organize my to-dos, and note-taking apps to capture all my ideas. These tools help me stay on track and make the chaos feel a bit more manageable.
Find Your Passion
Finding activities that genuinely interest me has been vital. When I’m passionate about something, it’s so much easier to stay focused and dedicated. I’ve learned to pursue hobbies and projects that align with my interests and strengths. For instance, I love writing, so I started a blog about my ADHD journey. It keeps me engaged and gives me a creative outlet.
Seek Support and Community
Connecting with others who understand ADHD has been incredibly supportive. Whether through online forums, support groups, or therapy, sharing experiences and strategies with others provides validation and new ideas for managing ADHD. It’s comforting to know I’m not alone in this.
Celebrate Successes
Finally, I’ve learned to celebrate my successes, no matter how small. Recognizing and appreciating my achievements boosts my confidence and reinforces positive behavior. Whether it’s finishing a book, meeting a deadline, or simply sticking to my routine for a week, every little victory counts.
Living with ADHD is an ongoing journey, full of ups and downs. But with the right strategies and a sense of humour, it’s possible to navigate this path with grace and joy. Thanks for joining me on this adventure. I hope my experiences and insights help you or your loved ones on your own journey with ADHD.
Dana Dzamic